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Self-portraits as characters

4/19/2012

My Daily Draw group leader gave us our weekly assignment: do a drawing each day of a character from a book. How we see the character, not how the book illustrator or movie presented the character. So, I combined a previous week's theme of self-portraits with this new theme. It made sense. I am one of those people who becomes lost in a good work of fiction -- as tho I am a character in the book myself. I become so entangled in a book, that I could probably not notice a tornado blowing thru the house! I'm giving you what I think were the better ones. All of these were done on the iPad. I started each one in Sketch Club, but they all swung thru more than one app. From Sketch Club to a photo-edit app and back again. Permutation after permutation. Great fun! If it isn't fun, why do it? It's only art, after all.

Of all the pieces I have done on the iPad, this one has grabbed people the most. I made it my Facebook profile pic, and it caused quite a stir among my Friends! So far, I have a total of 17 "likes" and climbing on this one. More than anything else I've ever posted. I think it caught people by surprise.

Little Red Riding Hood. "You're everything a Big Bad Wolf could want...." This one got quite a lot of attention from my Facebook friends as well. I left out the wrinkles. Glammed up, probably a bit too much. I don't think any of my Friends caught the meaning of "Do I look suspicious?"

Of course, it is a comment about the Trayvon Martin case. An attractive white woman, wearing a hoodlie. Is she suspicious? How about a black male teenager wearing a hoodie? Is he? The tragedy of this case has at least opened up a dialog about the way the dominant culture in this country views black males. As a mother, my sympathy goes to his family, and, especially to his mother. I know I would want my son's killer in jail. Such a sad, sad tragedy. The vigilante fantasy reaped cold reality.

Here I am glammed up beyond recognition. But, I actually did begin it as a self-portrait. Let's call it a make-over that got out of control.

Pinocchio. We all lie, don't we? Even if just those little white lies, the lame excuses, the exaggeration.... And we have all probably told a Big Fat Lie at least a few times in our lives. And not just when we were little kids, trying to get out of trouble. How about you?

This week's theme is "Spirits." I have done a couple of the drawings this week as self-portraits. I seem to be on a kick.

Co-Dependent Angel. This self-portrait is the polar opposite of Batgirl. Here I am a sad, tired, co-dependent angel. This isn't always me. At least, not nearly as often in the last few years as in years previous. The Twelve Steps do help. But, it's a process.

And I really would rather be Batgirl.

Here is today's drawing. "I'm no angel, Charlie!" This is the me that's mad about being a co-dependent angel and has decided, "Enough!"

Who will I be tomorrow? I won't know til then.

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Self-portraits, leading to unexpected pain

4/4/2012

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The Daily Draw Group theme for last week was Self-Portraits. The great thing about the self-portrait? I'm always available to model. With one exception, I did all these on the iPad. Here they are in order:

The info, in order:
1. 30 minutes
2. 5 minutes iPhone sketch
3. An hour
4. An hour
5. Hour and a half
6. Two hours
7. 10 minutes

The first is me as Medusa. The previous week's theme was mythology, so I decided to combine themes that day. The second was a hasty sketch done on my iPhone at the end of the day, when I realized I hadn't done my daily drawing. I have received lots of positive response to the third sketch, and, to a lesser degree, the fourth. Then, the 5th day, I had a painful encounter.

As I worked, I began to notice more and more how much my brother and I had resembled each other. He took his own life in 1980, around this time of year. I think of him each day, usually with affection, not sadness. But, the longer I worked on the drawing, the more and more I noticed our similarities. So, I began to morph the drawing into more a drawing of him. He was a brilliant, beautiful boy who died too young, at the age of 24. I never felt one moment of anger. I understood. The sad, sad little boy never recovered from the traumas of our childhoods. He saw no other way out of his pain.

He has been dead now, longer than he lived. Such a strange thought. I wonder who he would be now, had he stuck around. Would he ever have found any peace in this life?

My drawing of the next day became increasingly sadder as I worked. We may describe someone who is depressed as having a "long face." So, I lengthened the face. A mourner might have features "contorted with grief." So, the eyes are out of alignment. The chin and nose "not right." Somehow, I made up this head wrap -- a turban? I'm not sure.

The longer I worked, the more deeply felt the grief became. I haven't mourned Raymond in years. I thought that was all done. Strange how feelings of long ago can be triggered so unexpectedly.

Apparently, this sketch provided the catharsis I needed. The next day, I dashed off the final sketch of the week.

I had arrived at almost the end of the day, then realized I hadn't done my daily drawing. Grabbed the iPad, looked in the mirror, and got to work. I think I spent about ten minutes, thus the sketchy quality. I do not see grief in this sketch. Perhaps concentration, perhaps some alertness.

I was glad to reach the end of the week. Self-portraits can be an opportunity for self-reflection. The drawings mirror mood. I did not expect an encounter with grief. But, I must have still been holding on to the pain, and it needed to come out. Which makes me wonder what the next unexpected trigger will be -- and to what pain?

Jesus said, "Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted," His words so often counter-intuitive. "Weep with those who weep," wrote the Apostle Paul. John the Revelator wrote: "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and these shall be no more death, neither sorrow, crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away." Words to ponder.

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Self-portraits as characters

Self-portraits, leading to unexpected pain

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